Sunday, July 03, 2005

Giving Peter An Air of Prickitude

If you haven't at least gone through puberty yet, please go away, because today's discussion is about genitals, and therefore is of an adult nature. In fact, ridiculously stupid adults, dwarves and people who have Gary Coleman disease should probably leave too, just to be on the safe side.

Okay---now that I'm alone with my mature readers (ha), I can talk about why every man should have at least one dickoration. What is a dickoration, you ask? A dickoration is a cutesy little paperdoll cut-out that you can use to make your penis the fashion plate it has always longed to be. That's right. When your manhood is feelin' funky in a James Brown kind of way, you can dress him (or her?) in a fancy little cape. If your penis has a low self-esteem, try increasing its confidence by strapping on a paper heavyweight belt. You'll have great fun pretending your pee-pee is Mike Tyson. Just beware---if you tend to use your penis for thinking purposes, impersonating Tyson may somewhat slow its reaction time. I mean damn---he just isn't the brainiac he used to be. The generous people at Durex are offering free downloads, testimonials, a store and every other fashion accessory your dick keeps nagging you to buy. Let your penis envy no more! Check out what satisfied customers have to say about this ingenious product. As one jackass puts it, "When I wear my penis cape, I totally feel like my penis can fly wherever it wants to". Yeah...that pretty much says it all. I 've done a little research on the history of this phenomenon, but that will be another post for another day. For now, you're probably just about mortified enough....

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