Thursday, June 30, 2005

Brother From Another Planet



This my friends, is a photograph of Flavor Flav's illegitimate daddy. Not really, but maybe it should be. Actually, this is Sun Ra (1914-1993), one of the oddest and most ingenious musicians of his time. On the day of his death, The New York Times proclaimed him "one of the great surrealists of jazz" ( Kenny G was automatically disqualified on several grounds, including his music and his afro-mullet). One of the most intriguing things about him is that he was futuristic and retro at the same time. A lot of his costumes were styled in the fashion of ancient Egyptian clothing, but he also infused elements of science fiction into his music and persona. He was notorious for being secretive about his life before he became semi-famous, and would usually only reveal the fact that he was born on Saturn. Do you think you can get U-Haul to let you take one of their trucks to another planet? The government says he was born Herman Sonny Blout in Birmingham, Alabama, but what the hell do they know? Besides the generous catalog of recordings he left behind, Sun Ra may well have made another very important contribution to music. It's been rumored that he was responsible for helping legendary jazz musician John Coltrane quit using drugs.

Sun Ra is just one example of an extremely talented person who is also potentially rather insane. There are many famous people who are perceived as eccentric or who are considered deviant because they behave outside of proscribed social norms. Truth is that madness and genius frequently go together like Siamese twins (what a ridiculous analogy!). You could probably think of several examples, but you won't have to, because Wikipedia has compiled a list of famous eccentrics just for you. There are a lot of people they overlooked (no Tom Cruise entry, for example), but they also made quite a few deserving selections. You can read a little about the bizarre antics of each celebrity they've chosen, making you more knowledgeable about useless information within seconds!!!!! See William Hung, Adolf Hitler, J.D. Salinger and Old Dirty Bastard on a website together for the first time ever! :http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_widely_considered_eccentric

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Same Old Shit, Different Day


I imply in the title of my blog that art will be a part of the subject matter. So far I haven't lived up to my name in this regard, so I thought I'd center today's post around an incredibly talented artist by the name of Jean-Michel Basquiat. He was born to a Haitian father and Puerto Rican mother in Brooklyn in 1960. When he was about 17, he started spray painting subway cars and abandoned buildings in the city slums. The infamous tag he used was SAMO, which stood for Same Old Shit. A year before his graduation from high school, he dropped out to fully pursue his artistic endeavors. His creativity began to work its way from concrete to canvases, and in 1980, his work finally received recognition. Around that time he befriended legendary artist Keith Haring, who helped him get his artwork displayed in various exhibits. In 1983, he established a friendship and working relationship with Andy Warhol, and the two did a series of collaborative works that also garnered Basquiat attention in the art world. Sadly, he was dead only five years later from an overdose on heroin. Basquiat remains relevant today because of his vivid depictions of street life as he saw it through his creative eye. He had a unique perspective on his surroundings, and his paintings portray the depth of his conflicting emotions. OKAY---ENOUGH OF THIS PRETENTIOUS BULLSHIT. If you want to know more about Basquiat, there is a movie directed by Julian Schnabel called......you guessed it.........Basquiat. I'm also posting a link to a site where you can see his work, and learn more about him. For some satanic reason, the site also includes a critique of his work written by none other than Johnny Depp. We all know that he is the ultimate authority on such matters, so why the hell not? So get some culture and do something to maintain your brain by going to: http://www.basquiat.net/ Your intelligence is rotting away from being subjected to all of those Home Improvent reruns, and you know it.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

The Man Boob: An Unexpectedly Generous Source of Nutrition


By now you may be wondering why a child at such a young age would already be rebelling against the establishment and his fascist suburbanite parents. He's already demented because his father breastfed him. That's right---I said it. Now don't get me wrong---I'm an open-minded person, and within reason, I believe people should raise their kids however they see fit. However, no matter how fantastic your father's rack of man boobs is, there's just something uncomfortable about the whole idea. Maybe it's the hair...I don't know. Anyway, if you want to see for yourself how the sensitive guys are doing it, there's a webpage just for you. There are a couple of really heart-warming snapshots on the site, and some great testimonials that will help you capture the essence of the milkmen. One couple explains that they expected to need a breast pump, but soon, Milk Daddy could use his superhuman powers to lactate at will. Just like stigmata, this may be one of the great medical mysteries of our time. Check this out before you're the last to know: http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/miscarticles/milkmen.html

Monday, June 27, 2005

Seen Jim Morrison or the Loch Ness Monster Recently?


America, like most countries on this planet, has a cultural landscape that is enriched by folklore, urban legend, superstition and myth. We pass these stories on throughout our generations, until they become as significant to our history as information based on truth. Most of us probably consider ourselves to be somewhat savvy when it comes to separating fact from fiction, but the reality is that all of us have fallen into the trap of a good lie at one time or another. Through the miraculous powers of coincidence, for example, we may form an erroneous conclusion about the relationship of one object or event to another. Some people are so obsessed with a dead celebrity that they can't help but be excited when Tupac is spotted in Cuba, or when Elvis is seen at a Sunoco pumping regular unleaded into his Pinto. Maybe there's some legitimacy to these "sightings", but then why doesn't anyone ever see Nixon, Sammy Davis Jr. or David Koresh? I suspect that people frequently may doubt the validity of a myth, but perpetuate lies just because they're fun. For those of you don't want to be uneducated liars, there's a great site that can help you find a needle of truth in a haystack of bullshit----Urban Legends Reference Pages. They have all of their content neatly arranged into different genres, and since they have been compiling this information for a decade, the site is fairly comprehensive and well-researched. As far as their explanations for various urban myths go, they generally support their position rather well by including their sources. So go find out if it's true that mixing Pop Rocks with Coke will make your head blow off: http://www.snopes.com/

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Down with the King

Ever since Dubya's been in power, he's had the luxury and privilege of leading a Republican-controlled Congress, as well as a nation of terrified sheeple (especially post-9/11). Due to this "absolute power", some political commentators have gone so far as to say that Bush has practically established a monarchy. The website President Moron begs to differ. They refer to Bush's form of government as a MORONARCHY. Since I am not a fan of George Bush or the majority of his policies, that entitlement bears a ring of truth for me. This is a great site for anyone who is feeling angry or disgruntled about our "fearless leader". I don't necessarily agree with, or endorse ALL of the content on the site, but it's absolutely worth a visit some rainy summer day. For example, the site features a counter that can tell you exactly how much time (down to the very second) until we are liberated from this particular MORONARCHY. God knows we'll elect another idiot, and the countdown will begin all over again, but that's no reason not to celebrate the dwindling number of days left in Dubya's presidency. There are several features---photos, Bushisms, news archives, etc. There is also a forum for rants, and links to other like-minded sites. Enter at your own risk....Big Brother's watching your Commie ass: http://www.presidentmoron.com/

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Cut Your Teeth on the Razorblade


I'm not very good with schedules, but I was thinking that roughly once a week or so, I will review an MP3 blog. Out of respect for this monumental moment in the life of my blog, I have chosen one that I have much respect for, to get things kicked off properly....Razorblade Runner. The majority of the mp3s that they post are hip-hop, but they cover quite a bit of territory within the genre. Recent postings have run the gamut from commercial artists like Jay-Z and Cam'ron, to more underground selections, such as Controller 7 and Josh Martinez. If hip-hop just isn't your thing, don't hesitate to check it out anyway. They do feature other types of music, as well as provide linkage to other points of interest on the web. Unlike quite a few of the blogs I've visited, the commentaries are often amusing. So---what are you waiting for? You have nothing better to do than check this out now: http://razorbladerunner.cadenceweapon.com/.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Stewie Takes on Captain Kirk


In the 1970s, William Shatner did quite an interesting rendition of Elton John's "Rocket Man". After viewing Shatner's performance of the song, I can only hope that it was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. Even though I was born in that decade, it's really difficult for me to discern whether most people then took themselves seriously or not. A lot of the culture of the 70s was inexcusably retarded (Bay City Rollers, anyone?) That could be a dissertation in and of itself, but there's no time for that now (and probably will never be). Stewie on Family Guy later parodied Shatner's version of the song, and the results were quite impressive. See Shatner AND Stewie's versions here: http://gorillamask.net/rm.shtml

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

The Historical Significance of Jacko's Acquittal

At this point, even villagers in small huts in Tonga know that Michael Jackson was found not guilty of all of the molestation and child endangerment charges that were facing him. My point here is not to proclaim Jackson's guilt or innocence, but let's face it----one more child abuse allegation and the Vatican may grant him priesthood.

Anyway, on Jackson's website, there is an intro celebrating his "victory". This wouldn't be all that interesting, except I noticed something really bizarre about it. If you pay close attention to the writing that flashes across the screen, you will see that Jackson equates his acquittal with some other major historical events. You may not have realized this, but the day he was found not guilty is as pivotal a point in world history as the fall of the Berlin Wall and Nelson Mandela being freed. Mikey has always been a bit ego-maniacal, but this takes the proverbial cake. If you're interested in checking this out, you can do so here: http://mjjsource.com/ My suggestion is to turn the volume down first. The song that accompanies the intro is almost as offensive as the content itself...

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Man with Mohawk Assaults Conservative with Salad Dressing


Old news is still good news: Many of you have probably already heard that Pat Buchanan got salad dressing dumped on him during a speech he was delivering at a university recently. A young man with a mohawk came running out of the crowd unexpectedly, and showered Buchanan with Caesar dressing before anyone had a chance to react. Sorry, but this is pretty funny stuff. Afterwards, the big question seemed to be why the man did this in the first place. He responded to the press by saying that he felt it was offensive for Buchanan to give a speech on Cesar Chavez's birthday, when clearly, Buchanan's ideology on immigration is in sharp contrast with what Chavez believed. That part makes sense. My question was totally different, but hasn't been answered-----is Pat Buchanan TOTALLY retarded? He obviously missed the whole poetic significance of the Caesar dressing---even after tasting a faceful of the shit, he still thought it was ranch.

Click to read the article and see an interview with the "perpetrator": http://www.woodtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=3153391&nav=0RcdYA7G

Friday, June 17, 2005

Big Willie---An Endangered Species?

Here is the link I promised to the article on the anti-rape device:http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-1644792,00.html. Somehow I think it's highly doubtful that this contraption will catch on in the United States. The penis is way too popular here for such a thing to be advocated!

DJ Darth Vader


I'm not at all ashamed to admit that it's going to take me a little time to master the fine art of blogging. I have lots of great ideas, but it's a matter of knowing how to put your thoughts into action. I've spent the majority of my life being somewhat technophobic, so the sad truth is that a 3 year old could easily run circles around me in this arena. But, if nothing else, it may be interesting to see if I ever figure out what the hell is going on exactly. I've read these damned Blogger help topics a few times already, and it's like trying to teach physics to a crackhead.

Anyway, I wanted to post a little something for people who are into Star Wars and/or turntablism. I had to say and/or, because I'm not sure if there is much of a crossover audience there. This is pretty interesting for just about anyone though...I must admit I never knew Darth Vader had such skills. Click http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=10890 to find ot what the hell I'm talking about...

The one news story I can't get out of my mind today is about that evil bastard who allegedly molested thousands and thousands of children. How can there possibly be a punishment suitable for such a tremendous crime? This guy already had 2 prior convictions, but was granted plenty of free time to continue serially raping teenagers and children by our "justice system". Rapists and pedophiles too often are not given the sentencing that they truly deserve. Our system clearly does not know how to rehabilitate people who engage in this conduct either, and they continually re-offend.

I'm not advocating for or against this, but a woman in South Africa has invented an anti-rape device that women can insert like a tampon. Interestingly, it is primarily women in South Africa who are most strongly opposed to the device (according to the news article I read, anyway). I won't say anything more to bias you for or against this invention, but I will find the link and post it here tomorrow.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

So---today is the only time I plan on explaining the purpose of this blog. Those who are unfortunate enough to miss this first posting will have to figure it out on their own.

I think my intent will be most easily explained if I spell out who should/should not bother reading my postings:

You should read this blog if:
1) You enjoy listening to music (hip-hop, soul, funk, jazz especially)
2)You appreciate all different kinds of art
3)You enjoy political discourse
4)You think (for the most part anyway) that human beings are screwed up....except yourself, of course
5)You have a special affinity for things that are new, interesting and/or bizarre

You may want to avoid this blog entirely if:
1)You are a bigot
2)You think George Bush pronounces the word NUCLEAR correctly.
3)You are a religious fanatic
4)The only music you like is country or polka
5)You like cream cheese. I'm not sure this will come up, but I REALLY don't like that stuff.

Well, hopefully that clears up a lot and anyone who stumbles upon this page can make an educated decision.

I will soon start posting pictures, and will provide links to other sites of interest. I will direct you to places that have free mp3s, articles and whatever else might be of interest.

Until next time...