Tuesday, August 16, 2005

In These Last Days And Times


I had a brief conversation earlier today with some random religious nut, who tried to convince me that the world is going to be ending at some point next month. Guess I should probably be packing instead of screwing around with this stupid blog. Anyway, he had a series of Bible verses scrawled on a legal pad in large, childlike handwriting, as well as some mathematical equations that didn't make a bit of sense to me. I dismissed his rants and raves pretty easily---he's not the first prophetic wino I've met, and he probably won't be the last. However, the truth of the matter is that no one knows for sure, so his ideas are technically just as plausible as the most sophisticated and intelligent theologians on Earth. When it comes to preparing for the end of the world, let's just say it's not my style to stock up on duct tape or suits made out of aluminum foil. Curiously, I've also never been inclined to sit on top of a mountain and wait for the Rapture to occur. If the world is to end in my lifetime, I'd rather be one of the blissfully unknowing imbeciles who gets caught totally by surprise. Call me crazy, but if Taco Bell and record stores no longer exist, what's the sense in living any fucking way?

Having this opinion, however, doesn't necessarily prevent me from pondering what exactly will trigger the demise of humanity. Just when I thought I'd considered all of the likely possibilities, I encountered a site that appears to have the most comprehensive list of end-of-the-world scenarios ever compiled. Exit Mundi will make you afraid of things that even an overactive imagination probably wouldn't even begin to consider on its own: http://www.exitmundi.nl/exitmundi.htm.

If you manage to live through that whole experience, do something nice for yourself, and go download the new GZA vs. DJ Muggs tracks at Checkerboard Chimes: http://checkerboardchimes.blogspot.com/. More information about their collaboration here: http://www.sohh.com/thewire/read.php?contentID=7333. Wu-Tang fans may also be interested in this list of permanent download links for the group's videos (including solo joints and extended fam): http://www.wutangcorp.com/showthread.php?t=3149.

Lastly, you may have already seen this circulating around the internet, but Lushlife has mashed up several Kanye West songs with Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys. I've read quite a few reviews of this effort, and the majority of them have been negative. I mean, Kanye vs. The Beach Boys sounds about as appetizing as peanut butter with sardines. However(much to my shock and horror), a couple of the tracks are actually much better than I expected: http://www.kanyewestsounds.com/. The rest of it is...well...shit. I personally prefer Kanye's production skills to his efforts on the mic, so I freely admit that fact may have heavily influenced my opinion. The Mack is currently compiling a very thorough listing of all the tracks he's had some form of involvement with throughout his career. Definitely check this if you think he's more genius than jackass: http://www.themack.org/KanyeList.html.

5 comments:

T Havas said...

This is apropos, which means hilarious.

http://onion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=2

Scholar said...

Damn Havy---that article was perfect. I'm gonna get with you later about doing some guest posts...you can bring your wit and your Jesus flip-flops (is that word hyphenated? I can't decide).

T Havas said...

That might get me off the couch.

Someone really bought me the Jesus flip-flops. They are a prized possession.

(According to The Associated Press Stylebook flip-flop is indeed hyphenated.)

Scholar said...

T---I'm totally jealous that you actually got the Jesus flip-flops. Now you're that much closer to salvation. I'm serious about the guest post...and really, your couch is probably rather sick of you by now anyway.

Gail Burmeister said...

Hello! Super work performed. Top PAGE, further so!