Thursday, December 08, 2005

You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Kills You

I don't know exactly how I manage to accomplish this, but every year I end up broke as fuck right before Christmas. As a result of this unfortunate truth about my economic situation, my loved ones frequently receive some pretty cheap-ass stuff . I could go on an extended rant about how unnecessarily materialistic this whole season has become, but venting my frustrations won't effectively resolve my dilemma. Problem is, my people are greedy bastards---and they really don't want my philosophical bullshit in exchange for a gift. Last year, I scraped up the funds to buy my little sister this blinged out ring that I purchased from a quarter machine at the grocery store. Do you think she was appreciative? Hell no...she went and had the damn thing appraised, and was pissed to learn that shit was 100% plastic. What can I say? It's the thought that counts, and my thought was that plastic is a hell of a lot cheaper than gold...

Anyway, this year--- I ain't even gonna stress. Everyone's getting a tampon angel, and they're gonna like it. I can make like 50 of these bitches for under $ can I resist? Normally, I'm far too gangsta to even consider doing crafts, but necessity is the mother of all invention. These Kotex tree ornament things weren't my idea, but you can bet ya life that they'll be totally unique when I get finished with them. I know that there must be at least one other poverty-stricken bastard who reads this blog---this how-to link is just for you. Even your baby mama will be impressed if you make her one of me:

Moistworks just posted an impressive selection of jazz tracks. Some of the featured artists include Sun Ra, Joe Henderson, Thelonious Monk Quartet (w/John Coltrane), and Charles Mingus:

So Much Silence is offering a few hip-hop Christmas classics in mp3 format---"Christmas in Hollis" (Run-DMC), "Christmas Rappin" (Kurtis Blow), and the original and remixed version of "Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa" (De La Soul):

"Feelin' Like a Woman" by Millie Jackson is available for download at Headphonehaus:

Initially, the thought of Self Scientific with Bun B sounded about as appealing as cottage cheese with maple syrup, but as it turns out, "King Kong" is a dope-ass joint. Cop it at No Frontin' (link to your right).

With only a handful of days until his scheduled execution, the life of Crips founder Stanley "Tookie" Williams rests in the hands of "The Governator". Will Arnie make his day? :

At Cuban Links, you can download two more tracks from the Biggie Duets LP---"Just A Memory" (ft. The Clipse) and "Hustler's Story" (ft. Akon, Scarface, and Big Gee):

Download Edwin Starr's "Harlem" at The Number One Songs In Heaven:

I would type more, but I'm currently on a mission to score some feminine hygiene products. Later...

1 comment:

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